I suppose it’s fitting that I host a virtual move at the same time I’m making so many physical moves. So many changes all at once, it seems only fair to bring everyone along for the ride.
With my departure looming ever closer, there’s a whole host of new emotions. I was talking to my mom recently and she asked if I was excited yet. I pulled a line from Into the Woods and said, of course, “Well, excited and scared.”
I surely chose an interesting way to go about this whole process. T-Minus Two months out and I thought it would be a good idea to move out of the house in which I’ve lived for over two years (for those of you who don’t know me that well, two years in one place is HUGE). Ok, so it was a mutual decision caused by a rent increase. But still. After a heart breaking departure that was NOT full of tears (it was just really dusty. You know. We’d been cleaning.) I moved to Berkeley. First time I’ve been on the other side of the bay for more than a weekend. It’s a lovely place and I love the people I’m living with, but it’s not home. That, it turns out, is a very good thing. It’s the first step to growing comfortable with my discomfort. I had settled in to a nice, comfortable, standard life. That’s not a bad thing, necessarily. I’m sure it’s what a lot of people really enjoy and strive for. I, on the other hand, want adventure in the great wide somewhere.
After a weekend of vigorously moving out (thanks to the mostly tireless help of a friend up from Santa Cruz) I successfully settled in to the new house. I had the fabulous timing to be giving notice to my boss on the Monday immediately following the move. Good plan, there, Gaux. Way to be. This was a conversation that felt like a small eternity squeezed into four hours and was received as well as can be expected. Which is to say, not awesome.
So, in all my misadventurous, serendipitous foresight, I shook my own personal snow globe just in time. Welcome to the mess. It’s an ordered chaos of my own making and you’re welcome to share it with me, if you like.
To answer the question I get the most: Am I scared? Yes. Am I excited? More and more every day.